some got it . . .some don't got it

Talent

That's what we're talking about here, ladies and gentlemen, talent. Some folks got it, some don't. I think those were some bad lyrics to some country song back in the day, but in reality, they are it. Some people are blessed with gifts. Others are not. What boggles my mind is the tiny things that make or break people's careers.

For instance . . .
How does someone like Britney Spears make a comeback after all that drama and weight gain and whatever drug use she did? She comes out with a new album, that's the same damn formulaic "Circus" themed album that so many people have done before her . .. AND DONE IT BETTER. Helloo . . . . Come on now. It's pathetic. Her synthesizer voice does not make me want to buy "Womanizer". It makes me want to buy a bulldozer to run her over with. If Kevin Federline hasn't tried to do that already . . .

My friend Adam . . .
He's so talented. He has this voice that is so rich and soulful, it's like Stevie Wonder and India Arie and Tracy Chapman and Michael McDonald and Melissa Etheridge had an orgie and out came Adam. Although, that would be one weird looking child, and he doesn't look anything like taht, he just kinda sounds like it. Soulful white man syndrome. How do you market him? What kinds of songs should he be singing? How do you get him heard? I'm not his agent, but I heard these two songs he wrote the other day, and I think to myself, If only someone famous heard this boy, that's all it would take. But how do you get there ?

My friend Lisa . . .
She read me some of her poetry and it blew my mind. This girl shouldn't be in graduate school with me, she should be getting books published and having meetings with other intellectuals about the meaning of life. Alas, she needs to pay bills. But I mean her poetry is magical, and how is anyone ever going to read it? And it must be read. This is why I get so frustrated. I know all these people with all of these talent, and I want the world for them, and then there are these aholes that are out there with no talent, only making it,because they are related to someone, or have a lot of money, or whatever trashy story got them somewhere.

Do you have to sell your soul to make it? I mean look at Beyonce. People compare her to Etta James and Aretha Franklin. I got news for you. Beyonce ain't no Aretha. Aretha was the Queen of Soul. Beyonce is That Good Lookin' Chick Who Sings Hip Hop. Beyonce acts like a diva. Aretha is a diva because of who she is and what she does. You can't fake being a diva, you are or you aren't. I mean, don't get me wrong. Beyonce has some talent, and she can dance, and she's very pretty. But "if you like it than you shoulda put a ring on it" wouldn't be a lyric I'd put my name on. I mean she's famous for songs like "bootylicious". To me that doesn't sound like legend in the making, it sounds like overproduced girl group drop out to me.

And then there is Brady, who was discussing with me the idea of finding her voice, as a singer, and I think she is on the right track, totally. You have to listen to lots of people , and find where it is comfortable for you, to be singing. I remember, always wanting to sing Pop Diva songs, and then when it got down to it, i was more comfortable with Bonnie Raitt and Joni Mitchell. They suited me more. It's amazing to me, that in my twenty some odd years I've seen so much talent, and the people that have made it, aren't the ones who was in awe of. They were the lucky ones, the rich ones, or the pretty ones.

I always was one of those people that thought, if you were talented enough, you'd make it, "they" would find you. I don't know that I believe that anymore. I mean, I've been rereading Sheri's script, and damn, I can see it in my mind, she is a phenomenal writer, with this amazing way with natural and funny dialogue that I can just see on screen. But how is it ever gonna come to life? I guess that's why I'm gonna attempt to get Gary to have people look at it. I don't even know if he'll take me seriously, but if he's as close to Andrew as Andrew makes us all think, then maybe he'll think about my request. I mean he knows what it 's like to struggle, his wife is a singer and I'm sure she didn't have an easy time starting out, trying to get recorded and get gigs and so on.

I always thought that when I found love, I wouldn't need the art. That somehow, the starving artist living in my soul would pack up her duffle and say, "kid, it's been a great ride, but i'm going to some other attention starved girl who needs me now, ciao" and that would be that. But, even though I'm in love, and I'm grateful and happy, I still love the arts, and have that need to create. I don't think it ever goes away. I just think it is always somewhere, in the background, a quiet but steady presence. And I know that if I ever want to sing, there are people out there who have confidence in my ability. And although that is not a recording contract, to me, there is nothing better than a few key people believing in your talent.

Do I Wish I Could Go Back to College?

"I wish I could go back to college. In college you know who you are."-Avenue Q the Musical

Is this true? That in college you really discover yourself and you find your true identity? I don't really buy it, but I do know that college is a very unique time in life when you can truly think about identity and what values you hold true. It's funny, I never missed college a whole lot. I mean, there were certain times I would love to repeat, but other things I am happy are over. However, the one thing I miss terribly is the proximity. We were all so physically close. You could walk over to a building to see your friends. Everyone was always online, so you could talk to them on aim, and then go say hi, and it just felt so wonderful to have people you cared about all in the same place.
And then it was gone, just like that. I graduated and had to face the reality of life which was, I didn't live at college. I had to get a job, and focus on my future, and I couldn't walk over to ML to see Tina, I'd have to drive for a half hour on the highway, and most likely, she wouldn't be home, because she now has graduated too, and is searching for a way to make a living or even a life.
I mean, I have a wonderful fiancee, who I love dearly, and am truly grateful to have him in my life. But no one takes the place of friends who you love dearly.
I was always one of those optimistic kids who was like, "Of course this isn't goodbye. We're TOTALLY gonna visit each other, in fact, I'll call you when I get home" kind of a thing. Well, life isn't that easy or convenient, despite the internet and phone.
I decided with Pierre yesterday to do a little New Year's get together. And when he asked me why I invited so many people, I told him, that in actuality only like 10 will come at most, because most people have plans, or have a life, or obligations, and don't feel like shlepping to our house, or are on vacation, or whatever. People have their own lives. We are not in college where everything revolved around our social lives with some academics thrown in.
Right now, I'm thinking to myself, that I am grateful and happy where I am, but you know what I would like for the holidays? Just to have one night with some of my friends and my fiancee, just one night to catch up and see their smiling faces in person. Is that really too much to ask? I guess in today's world it is. And in actuality, no matter what happens for new year's, it's never what you think it's gonna be, because despite all of the hype the media gives it, not everyone has access to "the club" or "the party", and some people don't want to get so drunk that they can't remember their name the next morning. I like to be able to identify myself without having to wear a nametag, thank you very much.